Like we used to
by Otaku-for-life
Summary: Tadase's thoughts after Ikuto breaks up with him. A break up songfic. boyxboy


I stared at the random person in the bed. We had got drunk the night before, and we went to a hotel right after, seeing as neither could get back to our houses. I sighed, and took my phone off the nightstand. Three messages. One was from my mother, another from my friend, and another from Ikuto. I read Ikuto's and sighed. Ikuto had broken up with me just three months ago, and we has just started going back to the 'friends' stage. I was miserable without him. Just to get away from me, he moved to America. What a man Ikuto was! He couldn't face a break up with me without going to America. I started to think of our past relationship, when we would lay on Ikuto's bed, our hands entwined with one another's and my head on Ikuto's chest.

_I can feel his breath, as he's sleeping next to me  
Sharing pillows and cold feet  
He can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat  
Under blankets and warm sheets  
If only I could be in that bed again  
If only it were me instead of him_

I thought, if only I could be in that bed again. Just to feel his breath, his heat. Oh, how I missed that warm voice, saying soothing words over and over to make me fall asleep. I got up, and went to take a shower. I remembered seeing a picture of Ikuto on my phone. Someone had sent it to me, and it was Ikuto and some other boy kissing.

'Why couldn't he take me to America?' I thought, turning the shower on and trying to get rid of my throbbing headache.

_Does he watch your favorite movies?  
Does he hold you when you cry?  
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts  
When you've seen it a million times?  
Does he sing to all your music  
While you dance to Purple Rain?  
Does he do all these things  
Like I used to? _

I wonder if Ikuto's new boyfriend did all those things that I used to do. I wonder if his new boyfriend put's up with Ikuto. I wonder if his new boyfriend loves him, like I do. Ikuto and I had gone out longer than a year. I thought we were happy together. I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. I remember when we first had sex. It was so painful, but I didn't mind because Ikuto was the one on top of me. Ikuto was the one kissing me, licking me. He was the one inside me. He knew me like the back of his hand, and I knew him like the back of my hand. And, not only did he know me, he was part of me. He would never leave my heart, my mind, my soul. And I thought I was a part of him. But, I guess I really was just a friend.

_Fourteen months and seven days ago  
Oh, I know you know  
How we felt about that night  
Just your skin against the window  
Oh we took it slow  
And we both know  
It should have been me inside that car  
It should have been me instead of him in the dark  
_

I turned off the shower, and got out of it. I looked at myself in the mirror. _Pathetic._ My face looked sad, especially with the fake smile. My hair was dripping wet, and looked dull. When was the last time I was out of my house? I thought of the picture in my phone, and went to retrieve it from the nightstand. The person was still asleep. Who was he anyway? I shook my head, not concerning myself with it anymore. I was leaving soon anyways. I grabbed some clothes, and started to get dressed. After I was done, I took my stuff, and left the hotel, leaving a small note for the random dude. When I was out of the hotel, I looked at my pictures. Ikuto and I were most of them. Kissing, holding hands, just being next to each other. I found the picture of him and his new boyfriend, and quickly deleted it.

_Does he watch your favorite movies?  
Does he hold you when you cry?  
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts  
When you've seen it a million times?  
Does he sing to all your music  
While you dance to Purple Rain?  
Does he do all these things  
Like I used to?_

I kept walking down the street, to the train station. I thought about Ikuto some more, and wondered where he was. New York, California, Washington, Virginia? Was he having fun without me? Was he missing me in the least bit? Was he wondering what I was doing now? Or course not. He was probably in some hotel room, with his new boyfriend, sleeping like we used to._  
_

_I know, Love  
I'm a sucker for that feeling  
Happens all the time, Love  
I always end up feeling cheated  
You're on my mind, Love  
Oh darling, led her where that leaded  
It happens all the time, Love, yeah_

In about ten minutes, I made myself meet the train station. It was probably the only thing welcoming me. I went in, bought a ticket to my district, and waited for my train. Why was I, a 24 year old, moping over such a break up. Because I had known him since child hood? Because I thought he was going to be mine forever? Because I loved_ him_, more than anything? Yeah, that was it. I wonder if his new boyfriend loves him yet. I wonder if he's happy with him. I wonder if he was actually ever happy with me. When my train arrived, I got on it. There was three other people. An old women, and a young couple.

'How cute you guys are. I wonder if you'll last.' I thought, shaking my head and closing my eyes. I arrived in my district in an hour. I walked to my house, and put my stuff down. I saw all the pictures of me and Ikuto lining the halls, every small table, every picture frame. I got to my room, and looked at my bed. I remembered Ikuto and myself last lying on that bed. Three months ago. I remembered us kissing the last time on that bed. I remembered everything that happened in this house, this room._  
_

_Will he love you like I loved you?  
Will he tell you every day?  
Will he make you make you feel like you're invincible  
With every word he'll say?  
Can you promise me if this was right,  
Don't throw this all away?  
Can you do all these things?  
Will you do all these things  
Like we used to?  
_

I took out my phone, and texted Ikuto.

'_Hey Ikuto. I'm just wondering, are you going to do all those things with your new boyfriend, like we used to? Has he said he loves you like I did every day? Has he kissed you so much, you just got used to the feeling? Does he hold your hands and give you a warm feeling? If he does, please don't let it go. Don't throw a good relationship away, like you did with ours. And promise me, if this one's right, try to keep it alive. I hope you are better with him, then you ever were with me. I love you Ikuto. And, always remember the things we did. And I'm hoping you won't do all those things, like we used too. Love, Tadase. '_

_Oh liked we used to…_

* * *

**Au-chan: Well, that was sad. I really liked the song though. Oh yeah. I heard this song and was like, "Oh! Break up songfic! Break up songfic!" And as much as I love this couple, I just felt like this song would suit them best. I was thinking of doing and IkutoxAmu or TadasexAmu for this song, and was like, nah. So this is the outcome. I think it's pretty good, if I do say so myself. I'm getting better everytime I write new things, at least I think so. Anyways, I still have one more songfic coming soon, and it will be HirokixNowaki from Junjou Romatica. Then I will update it all started with a party, and write some more songfics, oneshots, and other things. Haha! Yayz! :D **

**Thanks for reading, and if you liked it, please review and tell your friends if they like this couple, hope you enjoyed, and criticism is welcome! :D**


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